Do you regret your part?
by TheWater'sChild
Summary: Cupid's perspective on his part in the Apocalypse.


I own nothing.

The apocalypse. The great end to the story, supposedly. Everyone had their part, some big some small but everyone had their role. Even me, a lowly cherub, a cupid had a piece of the puzzle to place. Mine was a part in the very beginning: bring John E. Winchester and Mary Campbell together. Should have been simple, an arrow shot and bam! Love at first sight. It turned out to be much harder, and took some drastic measures.

Drastic but necessary measures my superiors said, and who was I to argue? After all, Dean and Sam had to be born. It was all in the plan. The plan that blew up when the boys heard about it and decided that they didn't approve. The End was averted and now everything is out of order. My superiors are fighting a war now, and when it started I remember sitting in a piece of Heaven talking to my friend Haelil. Haelil is a guardian angel and she posed an interesting question. Do you regret your part? I find that I do not have a straight answer. As most angels would like to admit, we have grown somewhat fond of those boys. I am glad they were born, but their lives have been so tragic that sometimes in fleeting moments of reflection I wonder if it would have better to have let their souls remain in stasis here in Heaven. Perhaps the reason for my indecisiveness is the fact that I regret those drastic measures and what they lead to. Let me explain.

I love my job, after all, love is my job. So when the order came down to bring together John and Mary I was happy. More than happy, ecstatic really that it was my part. But it wasn't as easy as others; in fact it was downright impossible. No one had told me that John and Mary hated each other. I mean _really_ hated each other. But like a good soldier I went ahead and sent my arrow through their hearts. It seemed to work, they no longer hated each other. Love started growing. But then John joined the Marine Corps. During that time, the love that I had planted frittered away and a "dear John" letter was sent during John's first tour. You see, hate is powerful emotion, it can be conquered by love but it takes a lot of love to do it. My arrow had overcome their hate but it was not strong enough to last. I was called before my superiors, and sent back in time to "do it right" this time. Here is where I had to take that drastic measure. Initially I had shot my arrow of Love but this time I created an arrow especially for this fated couple. An arrow with layers of emotion, not just love alone. This arrow had Love, affection, Lust and finally, _obsession_. Just a drop of obsession and I had what I needed. This arrow met its mark and did its work. The love lasted through the war and the parental disapproval. They were married and soon Dean was born. That was my part.

I was pleased, my superiors were pleased and my job went back to normal couples. But I had a personal investment in that family so I didn't see anything wrong with checking in once in a while. A happy family, love between john, Mary, Dean and eventually Sam. Until that fateful day six months after Samuels birth. I watched, with many of my brothers and sisters as that fire took place. It was tragic and many of us wept as those sweet boys lost their mother, but I was not watching them. I was looking at John. I saw it. That drop of obsession. I knew then that I had created a monster in the name of love. John grew more and more obsessed and became the greatest hunter of his generation. And Sam and Dean were dragged along on his crusade. Through neglect, fear and loneliness. Sam had Dean and John had his mission but Dean suffered. So one night as my superiors were busy staying the demonic influence I appeared to Dean again. This time in a smelly bar (humans are so gross). There at the pool tables stood a young girl, a dark haired beauty. I saw the potential so I fitted an arrow. This time love was not my intent; this arrow was pure genuine affection. Enough to give Dean a weekend of pure happiness and leave a lasting impression. I felt a little better, and when Sam threw himself into that hole and Dean found his way back into her arms I felt even more justified. It was not to last, Sam returned and the war in Heaven eventually invited itself into the boy's lives. There was heartbreak.

So as I sit in my preferred Heaven, as those brothers once again give themselves up for the greater good, and reflect on that question… I find… that I still don't have an answer.

A/N: Well? What do you think? This is my first fic, I have officially come out of Lurkdom. Please be kind.


End file.
